Republicans, where are you?

Where have all the Republicans gone?

I was raised to believe in the Republicans. They were a bunch of mean old men who kept a damn close eye on my money. They wanted to keep all those damn Democrats from blowing it all on drugs and booze. They wanted less government, smaller government, and less in my face government.

They kept us out of wars, and pulled us out of the ones the Democrats started. Man, I thought Republicans were where it was AT!

Today, the Republican is a different beast entirely. Far as I can tell, the Republican of today does not seem to believe in a damn thing aside from that a Republican should be elected to each and every public office; that the Republican is inherently superior to any non-Republican; and that failure to believe this makes one a Liberal, a slimy subhuman thing that should die by fire immediately for the betterment of humanity.

Gone is the "don't spend" mentality -- two of the last three Republican presidents have run the deficit up beyond anything seen since World War II. Gone is the "mind our own business" mentality -- the last Republican not only got us into two wars, but made a point of ignoring his own generals and advisors while doing so, apparently less interested in the lives of Americans than in playing toy soldiers with the world's greatest military force.
I am not particularly wild about Democrats. Their reputation still ain't the best. But at least they seem to believe in something, and they do a better job of pretending they give a shit about my country than the current crop of what passes for Republicans. What the hell, people?

About Obama...

Y'know what? I'm REAL tired of all this crap about Obama's birthplace. So I'm gonna settle it once and for all. You see, it all boils down to one of two possibilities:

(a) Barack Obama was born an American citizen, in which case his presidency is perfectly legit, and all you Birther nitwits can CHEW IT RAW!

(b) Barack Obama was not born an American citizen, but has successfully concealed this by way of a conspiracy that equals the Kennedy assassination, the Black Dahlia murder, and the true story of Area 51. The conspiracy would HAVE to be this good, because if there were any evidence at all that held any water at all, McCain would have been all over it, in which case the whole issue would have erupted by now for sure. And since it has not, there IS no evidence proving he's not a natural born citizen, meaning no one is ever going to prove anything, which means he will still be president, and all you Birther nitwits can CHEW IT RAW!

Same thing, same result, either way.

So can you shut the hell up about it, already? I was sure as hell born in this country, and I'm tired of hearing you all BITCH about it!