The Profane Drift

When I was a kid... as now... there were words you weren’t supposed to say. Words that, if spoken within hearing of one’s immediate ancestors, would result in unpleasant consequences.

I heard about “getting your mouth washed out with soap.” Never had that happen. Hell, I WISH I’d had that happen; how much worse could it have been than getting smacked upside the head? And when I was a kid, getting smacked upside the head was considered quite mild as far as parental disciplinary techniques went; presumably, my own parents suffered beatings, their parents suffered Spanish Inquisition tortures, and I’m guessing that my great grandparents were subject to loss of extremities and facial features for spilling milk at the dinner table.

So there were words that were not used. Not even to discuss what they meant, much less as an expletive, verb, noun, adjective, or interjection. GROWNUPS could use these words, but kids would suffer a swift consequence if they were so much as to be heard to BREATHE any of these linguistic tidbits. The F word, the S word, the D word, none of these were to be countenanced.

This included the H word, a parental decision that I didn’t much agree with. I mean, the word itself, “Hell,” is pretty mild as swear words go, and was even in the ancient days of my youth. What’s WRONG with it? Admittedly, it’s the final repository of sin and wickedness and the home and prison of Satan, Prince of Darkness, but if “Satan” isn’t a bad word, why was “Hell” unacceptable in schoolyard or driveway?

Didn’t matter. Even discussing the word itself or its acceptability was risky. And so I avoided using this word and the others previously discussed, as my parents wished it, and then I left home and went to college and discovered that I and everyone else I knew could barely get a sentence out without a goddamn fuckin’ sonofabitchin’ cuss word or three in there, goddammit!

Today, I work with elementary children. The word “crap” sometimes is heard on the playground; it is considered an acceptable euphemism for “shit,” and bears no consequence from the Ancient Ones, other than a sharp glance and a snarl of “Language!” from the playground monitor, who might well be me.

And it’s been so long since anyone hit me upside the head for saying, “Aw, hell,” that I’ve long forgotten the reflexive reaction, the whoopsie, the clampdown, the slapping of one’s hand over one’s mouth should such a malediction escape into the free air.

Some words just don’t have the power they used to. Some words aren’t considered cussin’ any more, and haven’t been in a while.

But sometimes, I see something that reminds me that not everyone got it all out of their system back in college.