The Trouble With X

(X can be ANY problem, from "the plumbing has exploded," to "Donald Trump is running for President.")

"There is a problem with X."

"I see. I will address this problem, and do what I can about it."

"But there is a problem with X."

"Yes, I have been made aware of it, and am doing what I can to correct it."

"But there is a problem with X."

"Is there something specific that you would like me to do, right this moment, to address the problem?"

"There. Is. A. Problem. With. X."

"Yes, as you have now stated, in exactly the same terms, four times now. Is there something specific you would like me to do that I have not yet done about it? Am I not moving fast enough to suit you? Is there some new aspect of the problem you feel that I am unaware of? Do you have any NEW information about this problem to impart? What, precisely, do you want?"

"You don't UNDERSTAND! There is a PROBLEM with X!"

"And that makes five times now that you have told me that, and yet have not outlined what you want me to do about it beyond the obvious steps I have already taken. I regret that I lack telepathy, and cannot read your mind to see exactly what you want done, as you either will not or cannot TELL me, beyond simply repeating the same complaint. I regret that if you have no new information, I must ignore further repeats of the same statement, as this serves no purpose and wastes both our time."

"You're not taking the problem seriously."

"I dispute your statement. I have acknowledged the problem, and taken what steps I can at the moment. Later, as things change, I may do more, but can do no more at this time. Would it make you feel better if I discarded calm and freaked out about it?"

"You're not taking the problem seriously."

"Ah, we are back to repetition, which I had hoped I had made clear is not an effective communication style for problem solving, either for X or for whatever problem it is you are having with ME. I must therefore respectfully request that you cease repeating yourself over and over and instead offer specific insights into the problem and suggest possible solutions, or simply explain in concrete terms what it is that you want me to do about it."

"Now you're insulting me."

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Don't be like this guy. Effective communications, people. Specifics. Explanations. Use the words. And choose new words and elaborate if the old ones aren't working. And just because you have an issue, please don't assume I'm laughing at you just because I'm not freaking out right along with you....

In retrospect, I kinda wish I’d just said, “I’m on it,” and repeated this every time the complaint was repeated. Wonder if that would have changed the conversation?