My Favorite Politician

“I have a black, a woman, two Jews, and a cripple. And we have talent.”

What James Watt meant to say was “My staff has great diversity, and they’re a great bunch of people, totally qualified for their jobs.” But Watt was not a terribly tactful man. He was, in fact, kind of the exact opposite: a living example of the Peter Principle, a competent executive for timber corporations who was WAY over his head in government work.

James Watt, first Secretary of the Interior under President Ronald Reagan, starting in 1980, was my all time favorite politician. He was appointed, not elected, but he came in and made it clear that this whole “national parks” and “national resources” thing was up for sale to the highest bidder, and a lot of people weren’t happy about coal and drilling leases being offered on public land.

A politician would have soothed the media, or misdirected them. Watt poured gasoline on a forest fire, so to speak, with the arrogant gleefulness of one whose guvvamint power makes him untouchable by mortals... and he had a knack for gaffes not seen until the early years of the Bush presidency.

“They kill good trees to put out bad newspapers.”

“If the troubles from environmentalists cannot be solved in the jury box or at the ballot box, perhaps the cartridge box should be used.”

"I never use the words Democrats and Republicans. It's liberals and Americans."

"My responsibility is to follow the Scriptures which call upon us to occupy the land until Jesus returns."

There was also a delightful international incident when Watt informed Israel that support for Israel could be endangered if American Jews didn’t get behind his energy program... and, finally, and tremendously weirdly, he banned the Beach Boys from using public land in Washington for a concert... due to their “unwholesomeness” and that of their fans. Satanic rock and roll? He never explained. Nancy Reagan, of all people, invited the Beach Boys back later.

I love James Watt because he actually got the Great Conservative Dinosaur, the patron saint of the Republican party, Ronald Reagan himself, to stand up and say, “Dude, you have got to stand down. You cannot keep saying this insane crazy shit. You are making us all look bad.” And Watt resigned his office in 1983, only two years after he accepted the post.

I thought about Watt in 2011, when Sen. Jon Kyl made his remark about how 90% of Planned Parenthood funding went to pay for abortions... and when the world called bullshit on him, he, uh, well, fumfuh, muh, duh... “...not intended to be a factual statement.”

James Watt ought to be the Patron Saint of “Authority Figures Who Say Stupid Shit On An Open Mike.”

And I miss the days when being that idiotic in public meant your political career was over.