'At Time In The Back Yard

Waaaal, there was that one time 'at dragon got into the back yard because the neighbor won't stop leaving meat scraps in the damn garbage, and then he climbed the fence and saw the cat, miracle he didn't wreck the fence, and he decides he's goin' after the cat, and I hear the caterwauling and I run outside and the cat's run under the deck, and the damn dragon's got his head and neck under the damn deck and I run up and I kick him in the butt to make him leave the damn cat alone, and then he wallops me with his tail, he was just a little one, thank ghod, can't breathe fire or nothin', but he still took me off my feet with that tail, and then he commences to goin' after the cat again, and I knew damn good and well that he's going to tear the damn deck apart before Animal Control can get here, so I had to take a shovel to the damn dragon, beat the hell out of him, and he COULD have got away, but no, he's all invested in the damn cat, and by now he's knocked the corner of the deck off the pier and it's all cattywompus, an' now he's got his HEAD caught under there, deck done FELL on him, but I can still hear the CAT howlin', cat's between two joists, and the damn dragon's still snappin' at her... and I had to beat the poor dumb thing to death with a shovel.

The dragon, that is, not the cat.

Cat was fine, but 'er tail was all poofed up like a bottlebrush for the rest of the day. Took the rest of the afternoon to get the deck back on the pier, though.

Damn dragon.

Still got his skull in the rumpus room.

By the way? Don't try to make jerky out of a dragon. It don't work.

Best thing about this story?

The way the seventh graders' eyes flicker back and forth from the picture on the phone... to me... to the picture on the phone... to me... uncertainly.

I may be going to hell, but no one will ever say I didn't teach critical thinking.